Feelings

Somedays

you miss

being young, excited & infatuated. 

Perhaps age, perhaps phase of life.

But we feel what we feel, right? 

Even if we can't, even if we shouldn't, even if it doesn't make any sense.

Even if it's just a phase.

Be Better

Growing up, being better was often focused on getting better grads, going to better schools, getting high positions etc. I think I've reached a point in life where being better means being a better person. I think this is where life starts, & I truly want to be better for myself, and for the people around me.

Here's to a better self - although I do always look back at my previous self & the people I had around me then. I do miss you guys, alot. But life goes on. I truly hope that everyone of you are well and happy.

Till we meet again.

#RealLife

Never really thought this day would come so soon. Tomorrow marks my day into the real world, the working world. Pretty damn upset that I didn't get a break or my ideal last summer and grad trip, but.......that's life isn't? You never know what will come your way, and I know I must be grateful for this opportunity. I want to see this as not the end of my life, but the start of a new journey. I am afraid, of this never ending work life. But why must it be that way? It doesn't need to. It's part of learning, part of being productive, part of achieving something else....while still living your life to the best.

I hope I stick by that. Wish my luck!

Love,
Ven

Words/Time

"So much to say but too little time" 

"Say what you want to your loved ones before it's too late"

These don't only apply to appreciative words. 

What happens if you have too much to talk about and issues to work out but there is never enough time to sit down and share it? It's too late when such issues spiral our of hand and the negative feeling inside of you grows - it becomes too big to go back, to work out.

Time waits for no man. 

No man should use his time just waiting.   

To every one who ever made me smile

When I see my old friends happy - from army, to uni life, to getting girlfriends/boyfriends, and more - I feel so happy too. I don't really know how to explain this feeling, but I just do feel happy. Although we may no longer talk at all, or only rarely, a part of me wish that we still have that connection we used to have, and a part of me also wish that I still know you - to which you feel the same.

To all of these people whom I feel this way about, I hope you will continue being happy, and that one day we will meet again. We can't keep everyone by our sides, often only a few, but I guess we can always keep more on our hearts and minds and think about them from time to time.

< 3

Here

Today has got to be my most unproductive day in a very long time:( Well I guess its cuz I haven't had the proper time to study because of all my projects. So...., as the day is coming to an end, I am still being unproductive-.- Decided to come here again to write down my thoughts, so that this space doesn't become a place where I vent my angsty-ness. For a really long time now, my thoughts are always filled with what's my future, what do I want to do after I graduate, why am I studying so hard, why am I always stressing myself up for? I still don't really understand, and I always come to the conclusion that it is this society, the school, the people around me. And that I, don't really have a choice. Because even when I decide to sit down and start thinking of my purpose in life, I doesn't take me long before I feel that I don't have time for this now and get back to my books soon enough. I think as I progress in uni life, the more uncertain I feel, the more decisions I have to make. The past week left me thinking of what majors I intend to take. I feel as if the major I take will determine my job in future, which gives me immense pressure. And correction, I am not totally blaming others for what I'm feeling now.

And then, then other things in life that brings out the little stress in you. But then again, I try to brush those aside because I have 'no time' to think and handle those trivial issues.

And I thought about how much I've changed throughout the years too. I did changed quite a bit. One thing that I must admit, is that I am no longer as accommodating as before, no longer as 'nice' as before. I think it's when you have been always trying to accommodate every single one of your friends, every one around you, try to make everyone feel good, try to help everyone. Then one day you just realise you can't do that anymore, because it's weighing you down like crazy and you too deserve to be happy and carefree. I'm not saying I don't care about my friends now, or that I only think about myself all the time. I feel that I have devoted my time only to the people who truly mean a lot to me, and by that I mean those who I can't live without. And its always tiring to be 100% there for every single one. I know that everyone has their own lives, my bestfriend, my boyfriend, my sister, my parents. EVERYONE. So I do too, and sometimes I just want to be alone, esp when i'm finally done with a crazy week. I just don't have the time or energy to devote to you right now, but that doesn't mean I don't care. And its tiring to keep up and try to make you feel better and when I don't, feel as if it is my fault. I feel like all these are really unnecessary stress that I have to handle. Why can't we all just live life happily, seriously. Okay this was quite a rant. Oh and maybe something more positive, at least, I love now, something I never thought I will :)

//

Here's a photo of me with the worst eye-bags ever before I start on the chicken in front of me because food still makes me happy.

This is the time again, I feel like I need to get back to studying and projects because there's 'no time to waste'. God knows how much I hate that sentence.

One chance to capture that one moment

Okay good i'm updating! (Hi Dom, i'm updating haha!)
Supposed to be out with bestfriend todayyyyyyyyy, but it was pouring heavily!
So, postponed! And he says i'm going shopping and he's paying since he doesn't know what to get me for birthday. :> Good one!
Met up with qianyun and meixin ytd, waiting for qianyun to upload the photos....., no, waiting for her to find her USB cable(!) She's retarded, hahahah.

Just talked to gerald online, and its been so long since that! Shall meet up next week or sth, hehe.
Meeting up with anthea next week too, its been sooooooooooo very long!
Hopefully, next week will be a very fruitful week. Then, leaving for Japan on 13!, back on 19/20. I hope it snows :)
Great, class chalet's on the way!!!!!!! :> Oh anyone, someone, get me some polaroid films plz, ty. HAHA. Oh, i wanto change my blogskin too.

--------Marilyn Cheng

Cheer up my dearest girlfriend, i dont want you to be sad okay!!!!!!!!!!! You should stop watching dramas for now until..................., yes you know. Better make it quick! And u better make time to call me soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAH no matter what you know i love you!

I really don't want to move on. If only we could always stay where we were.

I prefer heart-to-heart crazy talks &get-togethers.
Maybe its time to fall in love again, just maybe. Oh wait, maybe not.