(After typing out a few sentences of Jan, I got lazy....)
So this year,
I was so caught up between a guy that I like, and my very good girlfriend. I worked so hard to make her not feel awkward between the guy and I, but halfway through, I kind of gave up because that's who I am. I try my best, my hardest, but when the problem seemed to stay at status quo, I just give up and move on. But recently, things got a lot better and I really hope this friendship will stay and I will continue holding on:)
Also, this year, I got together(well as much as I refuse to say this), again. This time, it was different. Different good. Well honestly, I never thought I could ever like someone this way. I don't really know how to put it in words at all, but he is someone I took a chance for, and have no regrets doing it. Like I didn't even see it coming because I honestly was not looking to go into any relationships anytime soon when I entered uni. But I guess it just happened, and I kind of have never been happier:') I mean honestly there are always ups and downs, and it hasn't always been smooth, especially with my bubble there surrounds me occasionally. Still, I thank god for him, my fav boy.
School has been a bitch the last sem, meaning my year 2 sem 1. My worst sem of all, and was what made my life so horrible the past few months, making me so negative, bringing down my confidence, making feel like I am not good enough. But enough is enough, I must remember to walk my own path, and be happy, be good enough, be confident, things will be well, always give it my all, and go for all the things that I want. It's time to shine again:>
Oh, and I did my first internship this year, and really learnt what it's like in the real working world. Well, ofcuz it sucks more than school. It opened up my eyes to reality, to realise that what I always thought may not always be the reality. I'm sure it wouldn't be my best internship, and I'm sure am aiming for much better ones and bigger companies. But every step of the way provides me with learning opportunities, so it was good all together. Speaking of which, I actually did not sign up for any camp facilitators the last summer, which was really not me at all. It made me really sad, and felt that I was losing myself, losing all these opportunities and was better off being my old self. But I out grow that childish mentality, and know that every thing I do will give me different experiences, and yeah. Always be glad, and always be open to new lives. Don't compare, one of my main goals for 2014.
All together, I have changed quite a bit this year. I've learnt to let go, and be better on my own. I've overcomed some fears, mostly awkwardness especially with regards to relationships. I have moved quite a fair bit in that, haha. School wise, I guess I still need to be better, in not only giving my best in results, but in viewing myself and going my own path. Always. And grab hold of opportunities.
Keeping this for the last, just a few days ago, I kind of got back my best guy friend. I don't exactly call him that anymore because I mean, it has been about 1 and a half years since I saw him. I am glad, ofcourse. But, honestly, I don't exactly know how to react. It's amazing how someone hurt you so much, but when he comes back, the next day you just get back to your normal conversations. You feel that sense of comfort again. That feeling of talking endlessly, about anything under the sun. That comfort that you want it so much, but you know that so much has changed, that you know that things can never be exactly the same again. It sends you into some kind of an emotional turmoil. I'm still trying to balance having him in my life back again. Hopefully, life will only get better.
I think, that's all folks. Last day of 2013!!!!!
2014, please be more amazing:)
Love, Ven.
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